Magic has interested me from an early age - but I didn't have the best
informed beginning. I used to try telekinesis, telepathy, astral projection,
even levitation, all with varying degree of complete failure. I had no
concentration or confidence, and a very impatient streak. The things I tried
to do were very nice "tricks" but many of them are no longer goals of mine. I
see no reason now to attempt things for which I had little aptitude, solely to
impress others and build up my own social standing. People are so cynical
now, and maybe some of it has rubbed off on me.
The Temple has shown me a practical side to magick which makes no
pretensions, I don't expect to be able to force the hand of chance with
minimum effort and concentration and nothing to inform me but a half-read
Aquarian Press book. In my future sigil work I shall aim to overcome some
of my less attractive tendencies, and build on my natural talents and
abilities. My ideal target will be a perfect self and not a material
manipulator. Maybe people should expect miracles because I think if you
believe in something enough then you are halfway to having it, just as long
as it's within and not without yourself.
I don't feel that I need to justify my involvement with anything, to anyone.
People have an instant dislike and fear of things they don't understand, but
worse than this, an aversion to information which could disrupt their secure,
boring, featureless lives. To me, many of these people are lost causes, I
would prefer that they knew nothing of what I choose to do with my life -
which is too precious to spend arguing with people who will never see sense
for the simple reason that they don't want to. This may seem a selfish
attitude, but the example of Susan Bishop is enough to put me off talking to
journalists, and Christians, for life. Let them remain ignorant and happy,
they will never change.